Sandwich Monday: Dunkin" Donuts Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich

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We couldn’t wait for Dunkin’s Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich to go national, so we got the raw materials and made our own.

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We couldn’t wait for Dunkin’s Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich to go national, so we got the raw materials and made our own.

NPR

Like all great traditional Boston foods — The Boston Cream Pie, Boston Baked Beans, the Chicago Pizza at the Pizzeria Uno near Fenway — the Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich is about to go national. Someday, Bostonians will talk about how they heard it play when it was just a cool, local sandwich.

Ian: I never realized how pointless bagels were before.

Miles: I like a breakfast that forces me to take a nap right after waking up.

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If you ever look through your hotel room peephole and see this, LET IT IN.

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If you ever look through your hotel room peephole and see this, LET IT IN.

NPR

Miles: I always wondered why Dunkin’ Donuts spells it “donut” instead of “doughnut.” But, looking at this, I see where they put all the extra “ugh.”

Ian: Yeah, I’m just going to abbreviate “donut” to “don’t.”

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Against all advice and reason, Eva investigates what’s in the sandwich.

NPR

Against all advice and reason, Eva investigates what’s in the sandwich.

NPR

Miles: My mom always told me breakfast was the most important meal of the day. I think this pretty much proves her wrong.

Peter: This seems to be an attempt to combine the meal and dessert into one meal. All they need is to add the statin drugs, and you’re set.

Eva: Yeah, this makes up a complete breakfast. In that after you’ve eaten it, you’ve completed your lifetime quota of breakfasts.

Ian: Is it true there’s no “g” in “Dunkin’” because someone ate it?

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Ian wonders if there’s any reason ever to have bread again.

NPR

Ian wonders if there’s any reason ever to have bread again.

NPR

Miles: This is my first step in my transition to an entirely glazed-based diet.

Peter: “One steak, please. Medium rare. Glazed.”

Ian: 13 doughnuts is called “Baker’s Dozen.” 13 of these is called “Euthanasia.”

[The verdict: just as with Paula Deen"s Lady"s Brunch Burger, donuts prove a fantastic replacement for bread. It"s a great way for people who have a hard time choosing between an unhealthy breakfast and another unhealthy breakfast.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me.

News

Sandwich Monday: Dunkin" Donuts Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich

I Can"t Believe You"re Watching This Astronaut Make a Sandwich

Caity Weaver

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On Wednesday, the internet fell in love with this video of Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield preparing himself a sandwich in space, or, as Smithsonian maga ine puts it, “Spaaaaaaace!” It’s easy to see why. The video combines two things the Internet loves: videos with a running time under two-and-a-half minutes and sandwiches.

I love under two-and-a-half-minutes and sandwiches too. I was excited to watch this video.

Too bad it is BULLSHIT.

Hadfield kicks things off by explaining that you can’t have bread in space because bread is too crumbly.

Free of the shackles of gravity, loose breadcrumbs would float through the air of the space station indefinitely, answering to no one, existing on their own terms. I think it sounds kind of beautiful—these crumbs, tumbling and turning in an elegant ballet, no longer victims of bread-bound circumstance, living as equals with the humans whose reckless food preparation freed them—like maybe this is what Anne Hathaway was talking about when she said in her Oscar acceptance speech that she hoped some day soon “the misfortunes of Fantine” would be found only “in stories and never more in real life.”

But the International Space Station cannot countenance crumbs. The International Space Station has no time for them. So the astronauts make their sandwiches out of tortillas, which is fine.

Hadfield explains to the camera that the astronauts’ tortillas are heat-treated and specially packaged in an oxygen-free environment so that they don’t grow mold. He assembles his three ingredients—packaged tortilla, squirtable pouch of peanut butter, and squee y jar of honey—and lets them float in front of him. Fantastic.

At this point, I am ready for something truly astounding to happen. I imagine Hadfield squirting the peanut butter into the air and slamming the tortilla into it like an outfielder catching a ball. I wait for him to squee e out an amber glob of honey and let it dance in the air while he gives a brief physics lecture.

Instead, Hadfield squee es the peanut putter and the honey directly onto the tortilla, just like I would here on Earth if I were putting honey and peanut butter on a tortilla for some reason.

That ain’t no kinda interesting. That’s just a polite dude making a normal sandwich with weird ingredients. If his watch weren’t floating periodically jostling itself around his wrist, you wouldn’t even know he was in spa[aaaaaa]ce.

If you want to see something cool, watch Hadfield wash his hands.

That’s ama ing.

[h/t Smithsonian maga ine]

Gawker

I Can"t Believe You"re Watching This Astronaut Make a Sandwich

I Can"t Believe You"re Watching This Astronaut Make a Sandwich

Caity Weaver

• View Profile


• Email


• Twitter


• RSS

On Wednesday, the internet fell in love with this video of Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield preparing himself a sandwich in space, or, as Smithsonian maga ine puts it, “Spaaaaaaace!” It’s easy to see why. The video combines two things the Internet loves: videos with a running time under two-and-a-half minutes and sandwiches.

I love under two-and-a-half-minutes and sandwiches too. I was excited to watch this video.

Too bad it is BULLSHIT.

Hadfield kicks things off by explaining that you can’t have bread in space because bread is too crumbly.

Free of the shackles of gravity, loose breadcrumbs would float through the air of the space station indefinitely, answering to no one, existing on their own terms. I think it sounds kind of beautiful—these crumbs, tumbling and turning in an elegant ballet, no longer victims of bread-bound circumstance, living as equals with the humans whose reckless food preparation freed them—like maybe this is what Anne Hathaway was talking about when she said in her Oscar acceptance speech that she hoped some day soon “the misfortunes of Fantine” would be found only “in stories and never more in real life.”

But the International Space Station cannot countenance crumbs. The International Space Station has no time for them. So the astronauts make their sandwiches out of tortillas, which is fine.

Hadfield explains to the camera that the astronauts’ tortillas are heat-treated and specially packaged in an oxygen-free environment so that they don’t grow mold. He assembles his three ingredients—packaged tortilla, squirtable pouch of peanut butter, and squee y jar of honey—and lets them float in front of him. Fantastic.

At this point, I am ready for something truly astounding to happen. I imagine Hadfield squirting the peanut butter into the air and slamming the tortilla into it like an outfielder catching a ball. I wait for him to squee e out an amber glob of honey and let it dance in the air while he gives a brief physics lecture.

Instead, Hadfield squee es the peanut putter and the honey directly onto the tortilla, just like I would here on Earth if I were putting honey and peanut butter on a tortilla for some reason.

That ain’t no kinda interesting. That’s just a polite dude making a normal sandwich with weird ingredients. If his watch weren’t floating periodically jostling itself around his wrist, you wouldn’t even know he was in spa[aaaaaa]ce.

If you want to see something cool, watch Hadfield wash his hands.

That’s ama ing.

[h/t Smithsonian maga ine]

Gawker

I Can"t Believe You"re Watching This Astronaut Make a Sandwich