Let’s be clear: meeting under the mistletoe isn’t the place for a bonk and a bit of how’s-yer-father. Usually, that stolen moment is only enough for an quick embrace and some pre-code, Hollywood stuff—one foot on the floor at all times, please. Tree-trimming may get you plugged in but if your family is stringing cranberries by the creche, you’ll want to keep things clean.
You may, however, find yourself at a party with a parasitic shrub hanging overhead and no one in sight but that hottie you’ve been eyeing up since you arrived. Here are some things to avoid as you satisfy your holiday cravings:
Eating Your Lover’s Face
I once made out with a guy who opened his mouth so wide that I feared for my hairstyle. He could have fit a navel orange, a Christmas cracker and a yule log in there. He was a handsome guy. His proportions were right and he smelled vaguely delicious but his mouth had come from another planet. The plant of terrifying mouths.
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11 mistakes you don’t want to make under the mistletoe
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