When you have a special needs child, many parents fret over the arrival of a new sibling brother or sister. They worry about how their child will bond with the new baby and how they as parents will cope with having another little person in the household who is completely dependent on them.
This topic can be broken into a few parts.
One of the first areas to be addressed is how to best prepare your child for the arrival of a new sibling child. Then you need to consider how you can make it less stressful when the baby actually arrives. Finally parents need to plan for the additional child and how they will plan to spend quality time with each child so no-one will feel excluded or undermined.
To best help your child deal with the changes that having a new sibling brother or sister will bring, you need to understand how they best process information.
Some kids are verbal learners and some prefer visual means to take in and process information. When you know what works best for your child, you can adapt and create scenarios and situations to teach your child about having a new baby in the house.
Involve them as much as possible in the build up to the baby\’s arrival. Let them make some decisions if possible around colours for the baby blankets, sheets, toys etc. They will feel really grown up and important. Pick out a small gift you know they would like and when the baby arrives, say it was from the baby!
Remind well-meaning friends and families not to fuss too much or give too much attention to the baby as the first days home are always the trickiest and the special needs child may react badly (as many kids do) at this life changing event that they now need to share with their Mom and Dad!
If others do not fuss too much then your child will be less likely to play up and act out demanding attention.
No matter what, be sensitive to their needs, they are after all just kids themselves so do not expect too much of them. They will get used to having another little person around you demanding your attention, time and resources. If you stay calm and give them lots of positive attention, they will grow to love their sibling and vice versa.
Acknowledge even the small things your child does for you. This will mean so much to them. They will feel very important and you will see more good behaviour and you will probably find they will take a more active role in the baby\’s life too.
By involving them in the daily activities of the baby\’s life, they will really feel important and grown up but it is important to get the balance right and spend some quality time alone with your child so they will know that they are not second best!
Orla Kelly is a parenting guide for parents who have a special needs child. Access here her valuable resource for parents. This article, How A New Sibling Can Impact On The Life Of A Child With Special Needs is released under a creative commons attribution license.
How A New Sibling Can Impact On The Life Of A Child With Special Needs
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